I learnt a very valuable lesson about the way opportunity presents itself recently that I want to share.
Have you ever been in a position where you felt your work was no longer serving you and that the only option that seemed right was to quit your job? That you screamed to the universe ‘I am ready and open to new opportunities and change!’ This was me recently. It was a Friday afternoon, I had had enough of feeling like I wasn’t valued for the work that I did, and so I opened my arms wide and said out loud ‘I am ready for a change!’ I was 100% certain that come Monday I was leaving my job.
I didn’t want to talk myself out of my decision (because I was so sure it was right), so I spent the weekend purposefully not thinking about the very change that was going to happen in a couple of days. I kept busy so my brain didn’t overthink it. I would let the decision float in and out of my consciousness without holding on to it to analyze it. What did pop into my mind however was whether or not this decision was me being mature and growing or me defaulting into an old habit of finding it easier to leave a problem instead of learning from it and adapting to it.
I spent time thinking about my habits and what this decision was saying about me. I have recently finished reading Dr Joe Dispenza’s book ‘Breaking the habit of being yourself’ which gave me inspiration to dive deep and front up to some realities. In the past, I would remove myself from relationships when things got tough. I was not emotionally mature to front up and work through the challenges that relationships can bring. An old habit that was presenting itself was me wanting to remove myself from a relationship I was finding difficult to handle. This relationship was between me and a manager. A manager who doesn’t empower me to become a better leader. A manager that makes me feel small at times. The old habit of running away was right in front of me making me feel the only way to deal with it was to leave. To remove myself from this person. I was prepared to sacrifice my own opportunities because of an old habit.
Looking at myself showed me that what I thought was the right decision was going to be essentially the wrong decision for me. Although a manager made me feel insecure about myself, undervalued and unempowered, I realised that the opportunity was not in another job, the opportunity was in changing the way I thought about myself. Why was I giving all my power away to this person? Why was I giving up a great job and future career opportunities because I was allowing this person to make me feel a certain way? I stepped into my current and future self (instead of a default past) and realised that I am strong, an asset and a leader. My growth opportunity was not in a new role, but instead being the person I am today and the person I visualise as my future self, who is a person who does not run from difficult situations but is empowered to stand up respectfully for what I know is right.
The lesson for me and maybe it is something useful to you, is that looking at ourselves and our own behavior is sometimes the last thing we do but should probably be the first. We are quick to blame others for our own situation and the way we feel but essentially, we have the control and power to feel, be and live the way we want and deserve to.
Don’t give your power to anyone. Do the tough thing and look deep into your habits and make sure that the big decisions you make are not being made because of old unconscious habits but instead of the person who is your current and future self.
Sometimes, opportunity does not come from outside of us but instead from within.
I did not resign that Monday and I couldn’t be happier.
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